|
good advice needed asap
Messages 1
to 14
of
14.
 |
good advice needed asap
2 August 2008, 7:06 PM
|
pc
Joined 6 Nov 2007
151 posts
|
Hi...i didnt know where to put this cos its nothin to do with kids so hope you all dont mind...i am in an awkward situation at the minute....i have family abroad and i have never been to visit..i now have a chance to go (my family abroad are payin for me as a surprise for my sisters birthday) BUT....they have said its only for me not for my hubby?? dont know why they wont include him cos they all get on really well wen they come over here for a visit...anyway i need to make a decision by this wknd!! i am really excited at thought of goin there to see them and see my brother who i havent seen for 31yrs!! BUT..i dont think i can travel alone...i'm talkin australia ere....my hubby says go...chance of a life time for me....yep i know that..but i seen the hurt in his eyes wen hes tellin me to go..keeps tellin me he dont know why they dont want him to go too...cud really cry for him...i have known about this since mon and its really screwin me head up...i know some will think just go..but it aint as easy as that...my hubby and i have booked the week they want me to go out there...a few days away and paid a deposit...they want me to cancel it all!! My hubby had no holidays yet this yr and he really really lookin forward to it..its the only time we get on our own....on one hand i really want to go out to them..but i dont want to lose the time with my hubby...HELP!!!! wot wud anyone of you do put in the same situation?? i know my hubby dont want me to go..he just tellin me to go so he dont get earache if it all goes wrong!! He says wotever he tells me to do he aint gonna win!! I know hes right!!! soemone elses ideas wud be good for me please...thanks...caroline...
|
good advice needed asap
2 August 2008, 7:32 PM
|
Lucy
Joined 7 Jul 2008
56 posts
|
Could it be that as your family are paying for you to go, that they are simply unable to afford to pay for your husband to go as well? Is it possible for him to go with you but pay his own fare? You need to check with your family if this would be acceptable and if it is, then go! Get a bank loan to pay for it if necessary, it is a great chance. It this is not possible then I would say go anyway, if not you will always regret not seeing your family. You can spend time with your husband when you get back as he is here and they are thousands of miles away. Obviously you will miss each other and you may have worries about going all that way on your own, but it is really not as bad as you think, travelling alone (I have done it myself many times).
|
good advice needed asap
2 August 2008, 9:40 PM
|
dora
Joined 22 May 2007
344 posts
|
lucy is right,you see your hubby every day but not saw your bruv 4 31 years you need to go,if you never get the chance again you will regret it and hope to god it dont happen but if any thing happens to your bruv you will never 4 give your self nor your hubby
|
good advice needed asap
3 August 2008, 1:40 AM
|
Andrea
Joined 17 Nov 2007
102 posts
|
|
I also agree with Lucy and Dora. It's your decision to make.
|
good advice needed asap
3 August 2008, 1:49 PM
|
Nobby
Joined 26 Feb 2007
1838 posts
|
|
Yeah i agree with lucy too - maybe take hubby anyway, but pay for his fare and if they really dont want him at the party/reunion, then go to that on your own..or gatecrash it and take him anyway! lol
___________________
Love me..Love my animals! :-p
|
good advice needed asap
4 August 2008, 10:59 AM
|
pc
Joined 6 Nov 2007
151 posts
|
Hi...thanks for yr advice and thoughts....my family overseas are very very well off...they can afford to pay for my hubby...i'm not sayin they shud or that i expect it....its just an excuse to get me out there on my own...they have their reasons for doin this.....my heart is sayin that i shud go but my head is sayin no stay here....as for gettin a loan to pay for my hubby...not possible...cudnt afford to repay it back... have to do wot circumstances are allowin at this time....in some ways i wish they hadnt offered..sounds really ungrateful i know..but then i wudnt have to choose wud i??
|
good advice needed asap
5 August 2008, 10:29 AM
|
Lucy
Joined 7 Jul 2008
56 posts
|
I think you should go, you will maybe regret it if you don't. The time will pass quickly and if you don't go your husband will feel it is his fault and this will cause resentment between the two of you.
As for worrying about the flight, ask at the airport for assistance if you are really too nervous to go on your own, they are great at helping people in this situation.
Make sure you take lots of good books to read, puzzle books and there are in flight films on your own tv set on long haul flights so you won't be bored.
Obviously you will miss your hubby, but I think he understands what it means to you to see your family. Get yourself off and have a great time and tell us all about it when you get back!!!!!
|
good advice needed asap
5 August 2008, 1:58 PM
|
4babies
Joined 15 Oct 2007
26 posts
|
If you go & hate it, it will bring your love for your hubby even closer, he will feel good you missed him & enjoy comforting you, if you go & love it you will come home really happy your hubby will be relived he didnt hold you back, if you dont go you will always wonder what it was like, you may never get invited ever again could cause a rift & in a heat of an argument it could slip out & that would just be awful, maybe if they have money it could work to your advantage if you do go ;-) if that was me i would just ask them in a very confident manner is it posible for them to pay for hubby aswell? what are last min flights like cost wise? & is there a good reason for them not to invite him? would he go with out you? would you want him to go with out you? how long would you be away from each other? could the time away be shortened? so many questions glad im not in your shoes.
|
good advice needed asap
5 August 2008, 4:14 PM
|
pc
Joined 6 Nov 2007
151 posts
|
Hi...thanks for so many positive answers....have spoken with my family over in oz and they say they understand the situation i am in. the offer they have made me they are now tellin me is an open offer...no use by date in their words!! they say next may/june time they will pay for my hubby too!! They say they are determined to get me out there by whatever means....so at this time i have said no....i still dont know if i have made the right decision...maybe next yr we may be in different position financially too...and i wudnt want my hubby to go without me..and he said he wudnt go on his own either.....i hope you all dont think i'm ungrateful....i must say i feel it...i feel as though i have chucked kindness back into my familys face if that makes any sense?? but hopefully we shall make it out there next yr....god willing.....
|
good advice needed asap
6 August 2008, 11:31 PM
|
pram crazy
Joined 3 Jul 2008
18 posts
|
Glad you have made your decision! Why not start saving towards the trip next year, even a couple of quid stashed towards it will mount up! And don't be too harsh on your family for not paying for both of you - they may appear to be well off but that might not be the case in reality. I have relatives abroad and they always seemed wealthy, but when we realised how much everything cost them and the differences in the cost of living, they really were no better off than us. Anyway, good luck and hope you do enjoy the trip when you finally get there!
|
good advice needed asap
7 August 2008, 7:51 AM
|
classycanopies
Joined 24 Sep 2006
18 posts
|
|
Hi Caroline, I know you've made your decision but I have to say I think it is the right one. After all you haven't seen your family for 31 years, and if they are well off, why haven't they been back to see you if you haven't been able to afford to go and see them? You are right to choose to stay with your husband, he is your family now and he loves you enough to let you go to the other side of the world, for whatever reason your family want you there, and trust you to come back to him. I think I would have made the same decision as you. Take care with dealings with your family in Oz, and remember, you can trust your husband not to let you down! Pat.
|
good advice needed asap
10 August 2008, 10:34 PM
|
steel
Joined 14 Jul 2008
2 posts
|
|
hi caroline i would go to see your family if it was me you may not have the chance again but can always go with your hubby another time this may be a once in a life time chance i also have family who live in australia my parents went to see them but i couldnt go as they was paying for them to visit hope this advice helps in your decision good luck write back if you need too mel
___________________
m l steel
|
good advice needed asap
10 August 2008, 11:25 PM
|
nw74
Joined 12 Jan 2008
181 posts
|
|
hi,
i'm glad you have decided what you are going to do. personally i wouldnt have gone without my husband. it is the trip of a lifetime and i wouldnt have enjoyed it without my better half. its wrong of your family to put you in that situation, spend the time with your hubby, you may feel a pang when you hear about how the party etc. went, but you would regret more, i think, leaving your husband behind.
|
good advice needed asap
12 August 2008, 10:17 PM
|
pc
Joined 6 Nov 2007
151 posts
|
Hi...my heart has said go but my head has said no stay here with my hubby!!! I feel as tho i have shot myself in the foot so to speak...i wud really really love to go..but i know i cudnt go on my own...and i know if my hubby had the chance..he wudnt go without me....my family have said they will make the offer again prob next may/june time and this time for both of us..so maybe the once in a life time chance will still be there...i dont expect them to pay for hubby but there is method in their madness only offerin to fetch me out let me tell you....they think if i go on my own they may persuade me to stay there with them..theyre really homesick..where as if i went with my hubby i wud come back home with him...see my family want a member of the family over there with them...and i'm it at the minute....so its not been as easy as you think to decide wot to do.....must admit tho..still wonderin if i made right decision... caroline...
Messages 1
to 14
of
14.
Important Note
All messages are submitted by visitors to this web site, and represent their own personal opinion. They do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of Preloved.
You use this information at your own risk. Preloved can not be held responsible for any damages or loss resulting from the use of this site. Please see our Terms and Conditions for more details.
|
More discussion in