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as cold as ice
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as cold as ice
11 March 2009, 7:56 AM
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susie
Joined 1 Sep 2008
535 posts
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IS it just my man that is cold as ice,he shows no affection excuse is he watching his programmes, he will hold hands when out any where but as soon as bk in doors he shuts off,only see him 4 nights a week when he stays but then if i want sex i am the 1 to go to him for it,at the mo it seems he will come to me for it on a thursday(which is his last night)wth me,is it me or are there more men like him out there??
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as cold as ice
11 March 2009, 9:37 AM
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pc
Joined 6 Nov 2007
259 posts
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Hi...yep I know wot u mean...my hubby is EXACTLY the same...we bn married for 26yrs in may and hes been like that for the last couple of yrs i wud say....no affection..no nookie..no nothin from him..wont talk..no attention..we hold hands too wen we go out...and at work hes the happy happy chappie..but he puts his nasty grumpy head on wen he comes home....I even wrote him a letter a few weeks ago to see if that would work...he did speak a little after that..but i;m afraid he gone back to how it used to be....thinkin maybe its time I gave up on him now...only so much you can take i think?? Have you spoke to your fella? If so I hope you had more luck and response from him than i did from my hubby....I've even stood in front of my hubby without a stitch on and hes told me hes watchin the tv!! Makes you feel real good that....I know relationships arent based on nookie...but sometimes you just need a cuddle some physical contact i think? I hope you can work things out...talk to him..ask him outright why hes acting the way he is..and hopefully he'll open up to you...good luck..hope you get more out of him than i have outta mine!! I had a lot of good advice from the ladies on here...they were very supportive so i'm sure they'll give you the same advice too...pity my hubby didnt take their advice and talk to me more..may have been able to save things then.......
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as cold as ice
11 March 2009, 2:04 PM
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susie
Joined 1 Sep 2008
535 posts
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hi i did mention it this morning but he says it cos i been ill,which i have this week but not been ill 4 the last 3 months
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as cold as ice
11 March 2009, 3:58 PM
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Nobby
Joined 26 Feb 2007
6188 posts
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Mine can be like it - been with him for 17 years, since i was 15 and he wont even go out with me, let alone hold hands in public! He has his own interests (is out most evenings with his friends until late) and if i go anywhere with the kids, its always just me. To be honest it used to really upset me (and still does sometimes..) BUT i think i just got more independent and do my own thing. It actually causes more arguments when hes home now coz im not used to it!! lol
Dont know wot i will do when the kids leave home but we will cross that bridge when we get there..!! Nobody mentions just how hard this relationship stuff can be, do they?!
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Love me..Love my animals! :-p
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as cold as ice
11 March 2009, 4:08 PM
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Nobby
Joined 26 Feb 2007
6188 posts
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Pc, I understand the standing naked and being told that - ive been there too! And when i was pregnant (very hormonal, very randy!) I was told that my shape disgusted him and to put some clothes on...Not being allowed to lay with my bump in his direction in bed coz the baby kicking kept him awake and he had to be up early for work..i could list so many things here, and i thin at the time it was to knock my confidence down further to give him some status (in his head, anyway!) Its hard init. Sometimes i wonder why i am here! But on the other hand, i think its so easy to walk away from relationships nowadays..for the moment i am staying and trying to socialise/educate him on acceptable behaviour! I blame alot of it on his upbringing, even now his mum buys him cakes - coz i dont look after him apparently...GRRR!! Hes almost 35 bloody years old. RANT RANT!!
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Love me..Love my animals! :-p
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as cold as ice
11 March 2009, 6:31 PM
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ladygrace
Joined 28 Nov 2008
434 posts
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MEN!!! who can figure them out? dear Lord
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...Oooh child, things are gonna get easier...
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as cold as ice
11 March 2009, 6:38 PM
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susie
Joined 1 Sep 2008
535 posts
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lol dont now but i bet there is a woman sat laughing at us while her hubby is under her patio( best bloody place for them) it not 7 yet but i no wat excuse its going to be later,he cooked t tonight cos i had dr,s so he to tired..........................................watch this space
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as cold as ice
11 March 2009, 8:10 PM
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pc
Joined 6 Nov 2007
259 posts
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Nobby...glad i aint on my own then!! LOL I've given up trying to educate my hubby....he doesnt want to change...think he thinks its me whats paranoid..thats all he keeps saying to me...arent men bxxxxxds? Why oh why do we bother with them? We're the ones that must be crazy cos we allow it to keep happening dont we...wonder why some men like to keep women 'down' ?? I wish ..sometimes.. I had the confidence to go on my own...but at the moment i havent...hubbys sapped that too!! Good innnit?? Oh well..soldier on eh?? We'll all moan together shall we? Take care......caroline
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as cold as ice
11 March 2009, 11:01 PM
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Nobby
Joined 26 Feb 2007
6188 posts
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yeah, think we should form a whingeing-wives club here!! lol
Mine disappeared tonight, told me he was going to see a friend - then i saw that particular friend online and asked if he was there..friend sed no. So i texted hubby. No response. So i texted another friend i knew he was with. No response. Funnily enough he breezed in shortly after that! Reckons he'd bumped into another friend and gone somewhere different, wonders why im pissed at him?! (but actually im not, i prefer my quiet evenings - still told him off though!! lol)
Just wonder what he'd say if the shoe was on the other foot and it was me saying i was going somewhere i never turned up to, then waltzed in 4hours later with no good excuse as to where i'd been......HMMMMM!!!
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Love me..Love my animals! :-p
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as cold as ice
12 March 2009, 7:36 AM
 Edited by nw74 12 March 2009, 9:34 AM
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nw74
Joined 12 Jan 2008
784 posts
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please dont yell at me but..... my hubbys nice! to look at him you would think he would be a b*st*rd and he can be to outsiders,(hes just over 6ft4 very wide, long hair beard tash tatts and a huge motorbike) but hes lovely to me and our kids. he always holds my hand when out, will happily kiss and cuddle me in public. buys me little pressies, even if they are just some really nice oranges or a bar of chocolate (he has been known to go to several different shops just to find the pear drops i like best!) he often cooks for me and the kids, will do housework, if i am feeling unwell he takes over everything and lets me rest. he always tells me how much he loves me whether hes on the phone talking to me or sat next to me watching telly, tells me i'm beautifull despite the evidence in front of him! he was fantastic when i was pregnant and when the kids were small, hes a demon at nappy changing (i used real nappies and pins and he still managed it!) we have been together 17 years and still cant keep our hands off of each other! and the ultimate test of love, he once turned the telly off when man utd were playing because i needed him to go to the shop! lol
do you all hate me now? lol
i'm sorry you have a hard time, but every relationship is different and works differently for the people involved. i think you just have to keep at it if you think its worth it, and if not, move on.if i were you nobby, i would let him come in, hand him his dinner and then tell him you are going out and may be some time! see how he likes it lol
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the more i see of the human race, the more i appreciate my dogs!
* an it harm none do what ye will *
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as cold as ice
12 March 2009, 8:11 AM
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pc
Joined 6 Nov 2007
259 posts
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LOL Sssoooo jealous!! Have you died and gone to heaven then?? LOL Where do you find such men..I thought it was only on the tv !! LOL My hubby used to be attentive and affectionate..its just this last couple of yrs really..he is under a lot of stress and pressure tho..not that it should be an excuse cos it isnt...but i know stress etc can do different things to folk.......NOBBY....i wud have crowned him i think !! I wud say too..play him at his own game..but easier said than done isnt it....LOL ..I think if the chance came up for me to have something better than wot i have at the moment..i think i wud give it some serious thought..there again my brother did that..he thought the grass was greener etc etc and it wasnt..hes been unhappy for a long time now ..bless him...but we live and learn i suppose dont we? He did say if he could turn back time he wudnt do wot he did in the first place ! But hindsight is a wonderful thing isnt it....think the trouble we have nobby...is our hubbys take us for granted? Well mine does...i suppose i do him as well...so 6 of one half a dozen of another eh? Yeh love the idea of a starting a club up !! LOL Think there wud be huge interest dont you?? LOL
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as cold as ice
12 March 2009, 8:32 AM
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susie
Joined 1 Sep 2008
535 posts
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new74 i think u should get rid of him and let all us poor desperate 1,s take it in turns, i dont hate u for this but just think u r selfish keeping him to yourself lol ONLY JOKING LOVE PMLS
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as cold as ice
12 March 2009, 9:30 AM
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nw74
Joined 12 Jan 2008
784 posts
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sorry :-)
he is lovely, he's the best thing to have ever happened to me, and through him, our kids. we do have our moments of course but they are over pretty quickly and after we have talked things through, we move on. i am always 100 % honest with him, whether he likes it or not! but i personally hate to be lied to so i make it a point not to lie myself, even when i perhaps should have lol!
i really am sorry though that you are all a bit dissatisified with things. i hope that things become as you would like them to be very soon. i think i just got lucky with my hubby, the guys i had dated before him were pretty much like you have described! i think they must teach lads in school how to behave like d*cks when they grow up! maybe my hubbys different because his school was 'approved' lol
my granny was pretty religious, she lost 2 babies as infants, i'm named after one of them, and whenever she got upset she would say that,
God gave her the strength to change what she couldnt accept and accept that which she couldnt change. basically, if you arent happy do something about it but if there is nothing that can possibly be done, make the best of what you've got!
___________________
the more i see of the human race, the more i appreciate my dogs!
* an it harm none do what ye will *
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as cold as ice
12 March 2009, 12:28 PM
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Nobby
Joined 26 Feb 2007
6188 posts
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NW, yeah thats good advice. Sometimes i am dissatisfied and i think i could have a better life..but then i also think, the flip side of teh coin, he puts up with my "spooky interests and visitors!" and he tolerates my animals (i have a few..) and the fact that im not the worlds best housewife etc etc So in my mind it kind of evens it out. And everything happens for a reason, i dont feel like a trapped victim anymore (i used to!) I have become much stronger and independant and more confident in my coping abilities. Somtimes i crave some adult company..i do get bad days, but most of the time im happy with my dogs and my kids and i do my own thing. I laugh at my single parent friends (who all get help from their parents!) They dont understand when i tell them that im a married, single-parent coz i do it all alone and always have done! His comments over the years have been cruel, but nowadays im lke you NW, i speak the truth whether he likes it or not and i dont put up with the knock downs. Usually the men who do it are in jobs where they feel devalued, unimportant and when they come home and knock us down verbally and mentally its coz they are trying to regain some of their Manly-Status!! lol
___________________
Love me..Love my animals! :-p
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as cold as ice
12 March 2009, 4:28 PM
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petpotty
Joined 22 Sep 2005
877 posts
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can i jump in? just wanna say im a bloke and we're not all bad. :)
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VISIT..... http://pottyaboutpets.proboards79.com/index.cgi .....PETFORUM
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as cold as ice
12 March 2009, 5:26 PM
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pc
Joined 6 Nov 2007
259 posts
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petpotty.....aaahhhh sweet !!! LOL Dont take it personally...just fed up ladies having a rant ! Yeh I have heard theres some good blokes out there.....pity I didnt find one then !! LOL LOL
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as cold as ice
12 March 2009, 5:58 PM
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petpotty
Joined 22 Sep 2005
877 posts
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hey Pc u mite do yet :)
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VISIT..... http://pottyaboutpets.proboards79.com/index.cgi .....PETFORUM
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as cold as ice
12 March 2009, 9:31 PM
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susie
Joined 1 Sep 2008
535 posts
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"GOOD BLOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" where tell me .......tell me now please lol
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as cold as ice
12 March 2009, 10:49 PM
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susie
Joined 1 Sep 2008
535 posts
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hello petpotty,r u single,wat your age? sorry if theres a mrs petpotty but just trying to find out the males point of veiw on r rants lol
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as cold as ice
12 March 2009, 11:02 PM
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petpotty
Joined 22 Sep 2005
877 posts
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sorry susie im married.. u know wot they say about all the good ones.......lol
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VISIT..... http://pottyaboutpets.proboards79.com/index.cgi .....PETFORUM
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